A Contaminated WorkSpace

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10

Following a beautiful holiday of giving thanks, it is painful to find myself addressing this issue in the church, but we must face the truth.

I have, off and on, considered how much I wanted to be associated with the Christian Church because of its toxic expressions in the Fundamentalist Right and those of Christian Nationalism. That is a whole other issue, but these toxic and destructive forces can also be found in the local church. Sometimes a member of the church just has nothing good to say about the ministry. Sometimes a staff member complains, objects, whines, or gossips incessantly. I can't know how many of these people have valid complaints, but I do know the disintegrative power of unconstructive criticism. It poisons the system, while constructive criticism strengthens the system.

Let me tell a personal story. It happened when I worked harder than I had ever worked on a ministry project. It was complex but inspiring when we hit a significant challenge created by a partner in the project. Thankfully, I had a talented, knowledgeable, and wise member who was a steady support to counter-balance the toxic criticism of others in the church who were quick to sour on the project and blame me for failure before we had failed. During that season of ministry, I was yelled at, criticized in public, and blamed behind the scenes for ruining the church's future. I can't tell you how many times I thought about quitting and moving on.

Unfortunately, I have talked to many pastors whose number one complaint in ministry is members who keep sabotaging progress by whining about everything wrong in the church.

A few pastors have staff members who can't find anything good to say about the church's program or their colleagues. When this behavior is tolerated in the church, it poisons the good grace of God that other members depend on to feed their souls.

The unfortunate consequence of a toxic presence in the church is that it drives good people away. Silently, members and visitors decide they don't want to be a part of this life-defeating environment. I know pastors who have left their churches, while some have left the ministry altogether. So, what can we do about toxic forces in the church?

Toxic behavior only survives when the culture of the church is not strong enough to absorb it. Strengthening the culture begins at the top. In a multi-staff church, this is the Head of Staff. It is their job to clarify the core values, recognize team members who exemplify those values, hold staff accountable to those values, and coach those whose behavior does not conform. The leadership team sets the model for the whole congregation. If you tolerate toxic behavior in your staff team, it will bleed into the congregation. The team's behavior will vaccinate the congregation if you hold high standards.

In smaller churches with only one pastor, the job is similar. You need to monitor your own behavior as a model for other leaders. Suppose you are clear about the core values of your church culture and demonstrate them to the congregation. In that case, you will have the moral power to enlist other lay leaders to help you model and vaccinate the congregation against the poison of toxic behaviors.

We all know what destructive criticism, whining, and gossip can do, yet we must distinguish between malignant and constructive criticism. There should be channels for constructive feedback. In the next blog, I will look at the characteristics of constructive feedback.