Constructive Feedback

"Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise…"

Proverbs 15:31

Criticism, gossip, and whining are about one thing, unloading your thoughts and emotions. Sometimes it is just an impulsive outburst of negative emotions. Sometimes it is used to knock a person down a notch so you can climb above them on the ladder. Its effect is always destructive. On the other hand, constructive feedback has a different intent. This feedback aims at achieving a favorable outcome by providing others with comments, advice, or valuable suggestions for their work and success. It is as simple as that. Ask yourself before you give feedback, "What is my intent?"

Constructive feedback's outcomes can be improving processes and behaviors, identifying weaknesses, or providing perspective. Constructive feedback should focus on the work rather than assessing a person's worth. That is not to say that the individual is not important. Giving constructive feedback is a skill that needs practice and perfection because it doesn't come naturally. Even if your intent is well-meaning, if you have yet to assess the recipient's needs, goals, hopes, and dreams, what you have to say may not be received as intended. Constructive feedback can only be meaningful if you tailor it to the person receiving it. To craft a comment that will be accepted, you need to know the person well enough to frame it in empowering words.

Constructive feedback can come as praise as well as expressed concerns.

Praise

Praise is showing appreciation for what someone has contributed. It is one of the most potent antidotes to toxicity in the workplace. When people do something well, acknowledge it, and congratulate them. Be specific in the acknowledgment. Saying "nice sermon, pastor" is not expressing appreciation. Telling your staff "well done" is not enough. You can give praise privately and publicly, and you should determine which is appropriate.

Constructive feedback can also express concern which is the more difficult feedback to navigate.

Sharing Concerns

When expressing concern, it is crucial to focus on the work and not make it personal. Sharing concerns is essential in helping people avoid mistakes, unconstructive behaviors, and misconceptions that will limit their growth and success. It should be sincere, caring, and specific. Put a check on any negative emotions like anger, disappointment, or frustration that may have prompted the feedback. The outcome of the feedback needs to be constructive and contribute to growth.

So, let's look at some examples of unconstructive and constructive feedback.

Feedback about Communication Skills

Constructive Praise: Thank you for updating me on the progress toward renovating the education wing. It has allowed me to inform the staff so they can plan for programs. We are excited about the progress and looking forward to the new space. Thank you.

Constructive Concern: I haven't heard anything recently about the progress that is being made on the education wing. Some of the staff and I are anxious to know how things are going so we can plan appropriately for upcoming programs. Let's arrange a weekly call on Fridays for a progress report.

Unconstructive Feedback: Why haven't you been keeping ME informed about the progress on the education wing? Don't you have a phone? The staff needs to know what's going on!

Feedback about Work Ethic

Constructive Praise: I'm impressed with your initiative to get all the Sunday School teachers lined up, and the curriculum ordered. I appreciate you jumping right into your new job. Thanks to you, I can tell the board that we have the program ready.

Constructive Concern: I know you have been working on ordering the curriculum and getting Sunday School teachers lined up. Unfortunately, I will have to report to the board that we did not meet the deadline to have things in place. I know you are new to the job, and I want to encourage you to come to me earlier if you are having trouble meeting a deadline so we can bring in additional support.

Unconstructive Feedback: Wow! You have only been here a month and have already missed a deadline for getting your program together.

This makes us both look bad to the board. Maybe you are not up to this job.

Feedback about leadership

Constructive Praise: Seeing you step up and take leadership while I was away showed me you are ready for more responsibility. When you are prepared to seek a new call, please don't hesitate to ask me for a reference.

Constructive Concern: I noticed that a few things didn't get done while I was away, and some board members were disappointed with your follow-through. I'd love to talk with you about what went wrong and see if we can't get you what you need to succeed in the future.

Unconstructive Feedback: Well, you sure messed up while I was gone. Guess you are not ready to take on more responsibility. I'll choose someone different the next time.

Feedback about Attention to Detail

Constructive Praise: You have such a keen eye for detail. Thanks to your ability to spot the errors in the proposal and resolve them before the meeting, we got the Boards approval. Otherwise, we may have been stuck working on this for another month.

Constructive Concern: I noticed that some minor errors must be corrected after you review proposals. I know how hard this can be because I do it myself sometimes. That's why I have created a checklist for you to go over when reviewing proposals so errors won't stall us in the future. I hope it helps. If there is anything else you need, please let me know.

Unconstructive Feedback: You need to pay more attention to detail. It's your job to find these errors and resolve them. If this continues, it will show up on your evaluation.

I hope these examples will help you to think through the feedback you give. And, if you are the recipient of unconstructive feedback, you can always coach the giver on how it would have been better received.

"Sara, I appreciate you pointing out that I fell short of your expectations. In the future, it would help if it were less personal and more specific about what I could have done to succeed. So, while we are talking about it, could you help me think through what I might have done differently?"