Networking or Connecting: Which is the More Important Leadership Skill?

"I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other."

John 15:15-17

Every week I scramble around Linkedin, trying to discover people who share my interest in church leadership. Networking is about getting to know more people. But the more important thing is connecting. Unlike networking (getting to know more people), connection is about getting to know people more. One of my key coaching principles is helping clients to develop networks. Networks are people who share your journey. However, to become trusted companions, we must become more connected. It is not about how many people are in your network but how deeply you know and share the journey with others that makes the difference.

Many pastors are solo ministers in their churches. Even though some are members of denominations, I often hear about how lonely they are in their ministries. Some senior pastors tell me they feel this loneliness as heads of their staff. Whether a solo pastor or senior leader who is head of a team, what keeps us from connecting is a faulty paradigm that says, "I'm the only one responsible for this congregation."

The Apostle Paul identifies the church as the Body of Christ, not just to illustrate that we need many gifts to run a church, but that sharing responsibility is the key to community, and community is the gift of love and life.

So here are a few tips on connecting. If you are a solo pastor, take some initiative and reach out to other clergy in your community. Gather for lunch and share stories to become more deeply connected.

You can handle many of the challenges you face in ministry more confidently when you do so with trusted companions who share your journey. If you are a member of a denomination, get together with other pastors who share the regional work of your denomination. Connect with them, support each other, share the journey, and the power of love and life will make your ministry a joy. If you are a head of staff, connect with your staff. Get to know them more deeply and transform your relationship from boss to colleague and team member. Doing ministry together is much more rewarding than simply getting credit for what others do.

Networking is getting to know more people but connecting is getting to know people more. The latter is the more critical leadership skill.